


Forgiveness

by styjinli



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-05 13:48:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15172019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/styjinli/pseuds/styjinli
Summary: Neymar didn't really think through his move to PSGA lot goes on and I'm bad with tags but you should still fr read and I wanna say I started this a while ago hence the different timelines but I'm not done with it so definitely will be more chapter.





	1. Chapter 1

Neymar wont admit it not to himself or anyone really but he missed it, He missed everything feeling the thrill of stepping into that field looking around and seeing the red and the blue with thousands of blaugranas cheering. The laughs with Gerard after,before, and every during games, the thrill of scoring and having thousands of people look at him like he's royalty. Don’t get him wrong he has that now too he has the parc des princes he has Dani who he has a grand time with and fans that now look at him with such admiration.

He got what he wanted he's the center of attention now he has the spotlight on him now at all times but it doesn’t feel like he thought it would and at first he can’t put two and two together isn’t this what he always wanted to be the star of a big club ? certainly doesn’t get any bigger than Paris Saint Germain does it? So he doesn’t understand at first why he's not as happy as he thought he would not until a couple days after his transfer. He no longer works hard during training not anymore he has no one else to impress, he no longer has anyone to run to and wrap his arms around when he scores well he does but it will never compare to the hugs he got in Camp Nou. And he thinks that’s what he misses the most is the hugs he received, the warmth of having those arms wrapped around him, seeing that warm smile every morning going into training being able to be the one to cause that smile that brings out his dimples, seeing the beautiful contrast in skin color when they sat too close to each other and their shorts rode up a bit so both their thighs were exposed and with the proximity their thighs would touch. So Neymar figured it out it wasn’t so much that  Barcelona was better than Paris but that Paris was missing him, Lionel Messi, oh god how he missed him.

To make matters  worse Messi wasn’t very happy about the way Neymar had handled things with his ex team. Since the day Neymar went into training and told the entire team that he would be leaving Messi hadn’t spoken to him. He still remembered the last time he and Messi had shared a bed together Neymar made it a priority to make it the best night they both had ever had knowing that, that would be the last time he would have the smaller man in his arms or rather that would be the last time he would be in the small mans arms. He could tell that Messi knew that would be it and maybe that’s why Neymar didn’t mention anything because he knew nobody knew him better then the smaller man. But  that would be lying Neymar knew exactly why he didn’t say anything to Messi not privately he said goodbye to him when he said bye to everyone else.

The only person he had privately said goodbye to  was Gerard. That was a bad idea because the first thing the big man had asked was how Leo took things because yes Gerard cared a lot about Neymar they had developed a friendship so easily but no one would ever be a bigger priority to him than Messi his best friend for life basically they both started playing together very young in Barcelona and Neymar knew that Pique loved Messi. So when the Brazilian told him that he hadn’t said anything because he didn’t even get a chance to due to so many people being there Pique was furious it was bad enough that Ney was leaving but to do such a thing as to leave and not even tell Messi about it was a crime and Ney understood  that but he was too selfish to face Leo not right now he wasn’t ready. So yeah maybe Neymar left before he could face Messi or Luis for that matter but that wasn’t because he wanted to spear them the heart break he wanted to spear himself. He knew that if he were to say bye to messi to kiss him one last time that would be the end of it he didn't know how he would handle knowing that he would never be able to have that man not the way he had him now. At least  now he can dream and think that maybe one day Messi will forgive him and come back to him but if Messi had gotten an opportunity to say goodbye properly he knew he would never see the small man again that he would never be his again. But after seeing Leos face after the entire team had left the locker rooms and the only ones still there where Ney, Pique and Messi.

Leo came to realize that Neymar wasn’t going to say goodbye to him, after seeing Messi walk away with tears in his eyes Neymar could never face the man again not without hating himself for ever causing him any sort of pain. So yes maybe Neymar occasionally goes into the mans Instagram just to see how happy he is now and knowing that, that happiness isn’t being caused by Neymar well that tears him apart he finds himself crying most of the time he doesn’t understand why he does it to himself actually. He also looks through his old messages you know the ones were Geri and Luis are texting about how upset Leo is how he goes to training and can’t even stay the entire time without having to go to the locker room and cry. Both men asking him to talk to Leo or to go see him and explain his reasoning that Leo would understand if he just explained but Ney never answers those texts.

He doesn’t out of selfishness he doesn’t wanna face Leo out of fear that the man would look at him with hatred he can’t have those beautiful eyes that used to look at him with so much love and adoration now look at him with pain and hatred, he wouldn’t be able to survive that . So he acts like nothing is wrong he tries to forget his old teammates and his old team and start something fresh here in Paris with Mbappe, Thiago, and Dani but then there’s nights like these were he's all alone thinking and crying and most of all  regretting, regretting that he left Barcelona, that he betrayed his team, he betrayed beautiful Catalonia, but most of all that he left Lionel Messi. For that he will never forgive himself. 

 

 

So when Neymar learns that he’d be sitting right next to Leo at The Best Fifas Football awards he begged his representative to not make him go. But his pai practically dragged him there going on and on about how he is top 3 along with Leo and Cristiano. So he is forced to go and so he does he’s just thankful that Dani is going to bethere too along with Marcelo.

He arrives to the event and he smiles at the cameras like he normally would trying to ignore the facts that he can see Leo talking to a couple of players through his peripheral vision. The man is all smiles and hugs not showing even a little bit of worry that he’d be the closest he’d been to Neymar since he decided to leave to Paris. Pretty soon everyone heads to their seat including himself Leo had already taken a seat, he was typing a message on his phone he looked quite focused whatever it is it must be important. He carefully approached his seat dreading every step, he finally reached the seat and he turned to Leo and shook his hand The smaller man looked up from his phone and shook his hand he would’t deny Ney that not in front of all these cameras he even flashed him a smile making Neymar smile but Ney wasn’t dumb or blind Leo was smiling but there was pain in his eyeslots of pain but mostly anger. Neymar didn’t speak to him no he wouldn’t dare do that not until they had to go on to the stage together they wished each other luck only giving a small grin and nod of their head.

Neymar was surprised that Cristiano had beat Messi but not really the man had a great season and he was the face of Fifa 2018 so he guess it wasn't that unexpected. He went to the dinner after and he sat at the same table as Messi after receiving orders from Dani and his pai telling him he needed to fix whatever was going on with Leo because it was starting to look bad on his part and it made sense he was the one that ruined everything. So he sat through the dinner it was awkward as fuck he received disapproving looks from Iniesta which hurt just as much as the ones Messi was giving him to know that two of his biggest idols looked at him with such disappointment made him feel like the biggest piece of shit.


	2. Hotel Rooms and Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't how Neymar thought his night was gonna go.

Once he wasin his hotel room ready to sleep he was surprised to hear a knock at his door. When he opened the door he was surprised to see who was standing on the other side. Leo was there standing there in front of him hands in the pockets of his black slacks, face blank with no emotions. Neymar wanted to speak but he couldn't from any words its like his brain forgot how to function.

 

Next thing he knew Leo was pushing him up against the wall mouth on his jaw and neck kissing and sucking. Neymar finally got his body to function, his hands went straight to Leo’s hair pulling and yanking quiet little moans leaving his mouth. Leo kept kissinghim all over his jaw and neck but he still hadn’t found his way to Neymar’s mouth and Ney was aching with how much he wanted Leo’s lips on his. It’s like Leo could hear his thoughts He quickly removed his lips from Ney’s neck and finally found his way to Neymar’s mouth. The kiss wasn't slow or full of passion like they usually were it was more tongue and teeth than anything. It hurt Neymar that Leo didn’t kiss him with the same affection he had before but he snapped out of that fast he had no room to complain he had Leo here with him in his room pressed up against him and mouth on his he had no space for complaining.

 

In between breathes Neymar tried to talk to Leo saying his name over and over until he was finally able to make up something other than “Leo”. He spoke up “Leo, Leo wait”, he had no idea why he would say that of all things but that’s what came out of his mouth and he had no way of taking it back. Leo answers by suddenly stopping his actions and retreating away from Neymar he had a look in his eyes so distant like all of a sudden he forgot where he was or it could be that he suddenly remembered.

 

Ney starts shaking his head and reaching for Leo but as his arm is about to touch Leo hand hedodges his touch and looks at him like he's disgusted. “ I didn't …. I didn’t want you to stop I just..I think we should talk don't you think ?” Neymar was literally trembling he had no idea why he would bring this up right now for weeks all he wanted was to feel Leo’s touch again to have his mouth on the smaller mans, a simple small touch was enough and now he had that and more and he was telling him to stop. Leo looked up from his shoes and had the same look he had when Ney had told him to stop. “ I don't know why I came here but it sure wasn’t to talk” Leo finally spat out with anger in his voice. He shook his head and was heading for the still open door when Ney reached for his arm. “ i don't care, I thought you might've come here as a mistake and I understand that you don't wanna talk to me but Im not letting you leave just like this” before Leo even had the time to answer Ney was pulling him against him and kissing him with more passion than he has ever kissed anyone before.

 

It hurt neymar that Leo didn't wanna talk to him but if this is the last time they might see each other in a while then he was going to take advantage. Leo was quick to answer to the kiss not with the same passion but it held so much intensity. Leo pushed Ney back up on the wall, his hands found the back of Ney’s thighs. Ney took that as a sign and jumped up to wrap his legs around Leos waist. His hands were soon on Ney’s ass helping him stay up. Leo walked them both to the bed, Ney was expecting to be thrown on the bed judging by the way that Leo was feeling but as it always is Messi surprises him by carefully placing him on the bed never breaking the kiss.

 

Neymar wrapped his legs around Leo’s waist pressing him closer than humanly possible.Leo broke away from the kiss first but only to catch his breathe. He laid still on top of Neymar, their forehead’s touching all that could be heard was their breathing. Neymar unwrapped his legs from his waist and turned them over so he was on top of him. Leo sat up against the headboard eyes never leaving ney.

 

Helooked down at Leo and couldn’t help but remember their old nights after matches were they would meet at Ney’s house and watch movies but not really because they were too busy discussing things that happened during the game. They would make lots of jokes and criticize the way that they played but Neymar never let Leo be to hard on himself because he knew that if he did he would go into a very dark place. Neymar was always first in starting contact he was always the one leaning a little too close when they laughed touching Leo at any opportunity he had wether that be gentle touches in his thighs when they would laugh or straight forward going in to kiss Leo when he couldn’t resist.Leo was always so welcome to Neymar always letting him do whatever he wanted to him Ney loved Leo for that always willing to try new things just to keep Ney happy.

 

Suddenly it all became to real for him looking down at Leo he realized what he had lost he couldn’t help but cry. He felt leo sit up, he was expecting him to make him move from on top of him but instead he sat up and held Neymar close. He buried his face in Leo’s neck and began sobbing as Leo began to run his fingers through Ney’s hair.

 

“I’m sorry Leo Im so sorry” he began to talk softly lifting his head from Leo’s neck. He looked at Leo to see that he had tears in his eyes as well and he hated that, he promised he would never make Leo cry again after seeing him that last night in Barcelona. He lifted his hand to leo’s face to wipe away the tears leaning over he kissed both of Leo’s eyelids. Leo kept his eyes closed refusing to look at Neymar it just made him sob louder why was he refusing to look at him he needed Leo right now. He knew he has no right to be demanding things from him after the pain that he had caused him but he just he wanted Leo all of Leo.

 

Neymar was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Leo had moved from under him and was standing up from the bed. He was pacing back and forth in the room not knowing what to do exactly while Neymar was still in bed sobbing. He finally spoke up “Look Neymar I don't know why I’m here maybe it was to give myself that goodbye that you were too much of a coward to give me..” he stopped to hold back tears he didn't know he was holding. “..but I realized that being here with you has just made this pain worse and I just … god please stop crying I hate to see you cry” Leo really does surprise him all the time he always exceeds his expectations the fact that he still cares about him even after the pain he's caused him is unbelievable.” I’m sorry I just I cant do anything else I feel like utter shit for leaving you and I don't know how to fix any of it” Leo shakes his head “ thats the thing there is nothing you can do to make it any better so the best thing for us would be if we just treat this as a professional type of relationship, If I see you any where I’ll greet you but nothing else whatever it was we had it’s gone and I think it’s for the best”.

 

… and with those words Leo left him that day alone in his hotel room, hard and sadder than he had ever been. Up until that moment he had hopes that maybe him and Leo would be able to fix things and at least be friends like before but now he can’t even get that back. It truly is all his fault he left what could have been an amazing legacy at Barca for what? his own personal spotlight and what sucks even more is that he’s no longer happy in Paris so he really did only do it for the money. But nothing stings more then the pain he gets every time he sees a picture of Leo smiling that fond smile of his that brings out his dimples that you'd only be able to see if you look past the reddish beard that now decorates his face perfectly. Ney’s always been a fan of it and he's glad the smaller man has decided to keep it not that it really matters he only gets to see it in pictures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter theres more to come so look forward to that. I wanna thanks MessiFangirl for her tips I absolutely love all her works.


	3. Messenger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo's just trying to cope with things.

He feels like such a fan boy just looking up pictures of Leo and saving them on his phone like some crazy obsessed fan. He doesn’t have much of a choice though him and Leo haven’t spoken or been face to face since that night at his hotel room, pictures from fan accounts is all he really has. He’s been tempted to call or text the man plenty of times specially when he gets drunk something about being intoxicated makes him hurt even more but he always stops himself because he knows he’s already hurt the man enough.

 

The World Cup is approaching with every passing day and he knows the level of stress Leo must be in specially after Argentinas poor performance against Spain in that friendly. Ney remembers watching that game with Dani and a couple of the other guys he recalls a lot of the guys making jokes about Argentinas defense. He wanted to defend them not because what the guys were saying wasn’t true because trust him they were definitely right Isco was making a joke out of the defense. But because the camera would often times cut to a sad Leo watching the game and Neymar wanted nothing more then to comfort the man who was for sure blaming himself for this internally even though this has nothing to do with him not much you can do from the stands and it’s not like he could help if he was in.

 

One of the things that Leo struggles with the most is self doubt he’s always doubting his abilities which drives Ney literally mad how could a man with such talent doubt himself. He knows it come from Argentina mostly with all the hate he gets from the “fans” Ney has never understood how Argentinians are so unappreciative of Messi and all the heart he puts into playing when he’s representing his country.

 

He can’t imagine the amount of pressure he is putting on himself right now with the World Cup so close he wished they were at least still friends he really wants to talk to him and relieve some of the stress the smaller man has on himself. All he can do is rely on Geri to do that for him because to no surprise Luis has also stopped answering his texts the older man was getting fed up with the fact that Ney refused to reach out to Leo even after Luis repeatedly told him about how heartbroken his friend was.

 

He’s actually surprised Geri still wanted to talk to him judging by how protective Geri always has been of Leo but he guessed the older man had somehow found a way to forgive him for the hurt he had caused his Leo. Or maybe Geri pitted him because he knew how unhappy Neymar is now. Geri and him had also grown to have a pretty close relationship nothing compared to Geri’s and Leo’s but it was pretty close Neymar knew that the older man looked over him like a big brother would to a smaller sibling and he greatly appreciated it.

 

He hated that he had also hurt him in the process of the whole transfer mess. It almost brings him to tears remembering the look in his face when Ney told him only a couple of minutes before he had to go out into the training grounds to tell the rest of the team. He remembers clearly how Gerarld told him that this would break Leo’s heart and Ney almost completely changed his mind about leaving but he soon came to his senses and followed through oh how he wished he would’ve backed out then and there but there isn’t any going back he did what he did and there is no way of un doing it. Leo doesn’t know anything about his and Geri’s talk before the announcement and he cant even imagine how he’d react if he ever found out he knows Geri isn’t telling him any time soon and he greatly appreciates that from the older man.

 

 

He was hoping that Leo would maybe try and reach him after he learned about his injury but nothing and he can’t really blame him for not doing so either.

 

(Leo’s POV)

What Neymar didn’t know was that Leo was constantly bothering Geri trying to get updates on his injury making Geri promise no to tell Ney about that. He felt bad that he was using his best friend as some sort of messenger. Geri had been persistent at first telling Leo to just pick up the phone and talk to him that the younger man missed him more than he could imagine. But all that did was anger Leo how could Geri just ask him to do that when he knew how much Neymar had hurt him how much he still keeps hurting anytime he watched PSG matches or anytime he hears Neymar’s name from other team mates talking about how good he’s doing and how well everyone in Paris is treating him.

 

It didn’t help that Coutinho got transferred to Barcelona not for the reasons people may think but because the younger man reminded him so much of Ney sometimes, it was actually incredible. He was supposed to take him under his wing like he had done with Neymar and lead him down the right path but he just couldn’t sometimes. Most of the time he would ask Luis to train with Coutinho instead of doing that himself. He would use Dembele as an excuse saying that the youngest player needed Leo’s mentorship more then Coutinho which was in part true but not fully he knew Ousmane was a talented kid he really did he’d seen clips of him with Dortmund all he really needed was a little push and more playing time. Yet Leo continued to use that as an excuse he could sometimes see how Coutinho would look when Luis would walk over to him instead of Leo. Just like Neymar. Coutinho had a adoration with Leo he thought of Leo as an idol and Leo hated the fact that he might be hurting the man by refusing to train with him. Luckily Luis understood the reasons which why he did this and he could hear Luis trying to explain to Phil with the best of his abilities.

 

He knew that this was only temporary that pretty soon he could bond with Coutinho in the way he truly wanted to but for now he just couldn’t it hurt him too dang much. Leo had tried many times to reach Ney well actually he hadn't he’d type a text and never hit send or he’d linger over his name on his contact itching to press call to hear his voice at least once. But he just couldn’t bring himself to do so.


	4. Unlikely talks

Having the World cup approaching so fast helped him keep his mind off of Neymar and on the pitch which was what he really needed to be thinking about but even that brought him a great deal of stress.He knew this was his last shot to win it and seeing as his team is the worst they’ve been in ages it doesn’t give him a lot ofhopes for anything but he’s still gonna give it his all to give to his people what they deserve. Nothing haunts him more than the 3 times he’d lost a finalhe became the joke of his country now no one believed in him. Deep inside he knows its not solely his fault but he can’t help but blame himself, he feels so much pressure to live up to the hype that people give him. And thats his biggest problem he remembers when he was younger he was playing because he loved the sport and he just wanted to improve himself now it feels like every time he sets foot on that field he has to prove to everyone that he’s still got it that he can still compete at top level.

 

Weirdly enough the person who he gets compared to with the most is the person who has somehow made him feel much better about everything. See people have this weird conspiracy that Cristiano and him hate each other and that they are competing to see who the best is when in reality its nothing like that they’re actually friends well if you can even call it that. It actually all started that night that he left Neymar’s hotel room. He was walking back to his own room head hung low and hands in his pockets when he heard someone call out his name. He looked up only to see the tall well built man standing near a door holding his trophy in one hand and in his other his hotel room key.

 

“Aww come on Leo its alright, you don't have to be so down about it it’s not like its the ballon d’or” He saw Cris smiling at him no sign of real mockery in his voice. “Although I guess you can start sulking now cause that’s coming home as well” This time Cristiano laughed a little.

 

It was honestly weird if he really thought about it he and Cristiano have never been friends the most they’ve talked was saying a quick hello and good luck at award ceremonies. Not because they were actually rivals like all the media platforms wanted to believe but because they don’t really have much in common besides the whole “best in the world” fight. They live different lives. Cris is elegant really into fashion and has a lot of self confidence on the other hand Leo is more reserved and quiet a very shy person. Which is why he was surprised with what came out of his mouth next.

 

“It’s fine I already have five of them at home it wouldn't hurt me if you finally caught up” Leo said smugly catching the taller man off guard with his comment. Even he was caught off with what came out of his mouth but he didn't regret it after seeing the smile on the taller man.

 

“And they say I'm the arrogant one,” he said lightly shaking his head reaching to insert the key into his rooms door. Beforestepping into his room he looked back at Leo and smiled moving his head lightly in the direction of his room. He doesn’t know why but he took that as an invitation and he greatly accepted it he moved towards the door and the taller man moved aside a little to let the smaller man go in first. Walking into the room he felt weird and awkward he had no idea why he walked in to begin with but now that he was in he felt uneasy.

 

Cris put the trophy down on the night stand and sat down on one of the small couches that was in the room.Leo followed him and sat down across from him looking around the room a bit to find Cris’ expensive suitcase on top of his bed with a couple of clothes scattered around the suitcase.

 

“So Lionel what has you looking so down “ Cris ask looking straight at the man no expression can be read from his face. “Please don’t tell me it’s that kid again.”

 

That caught Leo off a bit, how could Cris even know about Neymar the only people that knew about them was the Barca squad and he was sure none of them told him, that is unless Neymar told James or something but he doubts that as well. “What do you mean ?” he asks trying to play of the other mans question.

 

“Don’t try to fool me Leo literally anyone with eyes could see what was going with you and Neymar,” Cris says smugly a bit of laughter in his eyes.

 

That made Leo’s eyes go wide, he knew his own team mates hadn’t been surprised when he and Neymar finally told them about what was going on with them but he didn’t think they were that obvious. If Cris knew and he was in a whole different team their rivals for that matter than that means the media had chosen not to bring it up or that they were just that dumb.

 

“Don’t be so surprised Leo, I mean it’s not like y’all were being so secretive about it”

 

“I…I just wait yeah matter of factly we where very private with what was happening between the two of us,” heanswered the man back sitting up straighter in his seat.

 

Cris laughed at that shaking his head, “wait ..wait are you serious you guys call that being discrete”that seemed to have confused Leo even more. “I just I mean have you seen the way that you guys act around each other always having to have your hands on each other, the way that the boy looks at you like you are the most precious thing in the world, and have you seen the way that Neymar stands up for you on that field. I mean I still remember that horrible foul Pjanic did on you Neymar literally waited about 2 seconds before going after him not even Alves could calm the boy down earned himself a yellow for that one”

 

Leo smiles at the memory, he remembers all of the times Ney would stand up for him as well as all the times he would stand up for Ney as well. He does recall telling Neymar not to get into fights during games especially not over him but the boy has always been stubborn almost as stubborn as himself. “I guess we were never good with hiding our feelings then” he shrugs.

 

“Well that was before, I mean tonight it looked like y'all were fine but I don’t believe that not for one second” Cris said pointing a finger at the smaller man sitting across from him. “There is no way that y'all are fine after all that transfer mess”

 

“ You know if I didn’t know any better I would think you were my best friend or something, how is it that you know so much about me and how I feel, you know things that I myself hadn’t really payed attention to” Leo spoke questioning the older man.

 

“I mean its not like your that hard to readif I’m honest Leo you're known as a very mysterious and reserved person but if people looked past your left foot then they’d see that your not very good at hiding things” he shrugged off like it was no big deal.

 

That made Leo feel very uneasy was he really that easy to read. “I.. I don’t really even know what to say Cris… I didn’t think that I mean how is it …I’m just sometimes it feels like the own people around me don’t get me that well so I’m taken back that someone who I thought knew nothing about me knows me so well” the man was able to finish off without stuttering so much.

 

“Ah see people paint me as a bad person when I’m really not… seems like you believed it though doesn’t it” Cris says disapprovingly.

 

“It’s not that I believed it, I didn’t, I mean if I know they lie about the things they say about me why would I believe what they say about you ? I just didn’t really think you'd like care enough to try and figure me out is all,” he says trying to defend himself.

 

“Ah I get that well I mean we get compared to each other a lot I get curious don't you?”

 

“No not really” Leo says back laughing a little.

 

“Of course you don’t” The older man says smugly.

 

And just like that he stayed in Cris’s room for a good 2 hours talking about everything and nothing at the same time. He never knew how easy it would be to talk to Cris but now that he has he’s very pleased with the results. He should really step out of his comfort zone more often.

He never knew how good it would be to talk to someone about Neymar it made him feel so much better about the situation. Don’t get him wrong he had talked to Luis and Geri about it but it’s easier when he talks to someone who wasn’t friends with the both of them. That way it felt like everything Cris was saying was because he truly did believe it not because he was sparing Leo’s feelings or Ney’s for that matter.

 

After having one of the most enjoyable conversations ever Leo decided it was a good time to star heading back to his own room. He got up and headed to the door the taller man following he stood at the door reach to open the door looking at the man hovering over him. He doesn’t know what it was but looking at the man in front of him gave him a tingling feeling all of a sudden he became very aware of Cris’s image. The mans perfectly styled hair went so well with his black tight fitted suit he looked really good with a tie. The shape of his face was perfect it looked like it was sculpted by greek gods, the diamond studs on his ears made him look that much better.

 

Without even thinking about it he stood up in his tippy toes and kissed him at first Cris was taken back and he was just standing there not moving his lips. Leo opened his eyes not even realizing that they were closed he was fearing that he had made mistake when suddenly Cris grabbed his face and kissed him back. The kiss didn’t last long as soon as Cris kissed him back he stopped dropping his hands from Leo’s face and moved away from.

 

“I.. I don’t … I don’t know what I was thinking Cris… I’m sorry that was wrong I’m so sorry” Leo quickly mumbled his head looking anywhere but at the man in front of him.

 

To leo’s surprise Cris moved closer to him and lifted Leo’s chin holding both of his cheeks in the palms of his hands. He was even more surprised with what the man did next, he bent down and placed a kiss on Leo’s lips it was short and to the point. “It isn’t really Leo, but I know right now your hurting because of that kid which is why your impulses got the best of you. If it were any other moment I wouldn’t have stopped you hell I probably would have done it before I want this but not like this and not right now”

 

“Cris..” Leo wasn't even able to finish what he was gonna say when the man stopped him. “You can deny it all you want but you know now isn’t the time hell you may not even really want this so just sleep on it yeah?” All Leo could do wasshake his head. The other man reached for the door handle and opened the door kicking Leo out in a silent way.

 

On the way to hisroom Leo thought about what Cristiano said about him not really wanted it but he’s not so sure the man is right.


	5. Hotel Breakdowns

Neymar had been fighting back the urges to go to Leo since the first match against Iceland. He can imagine how hard the man is beating himself for missing that penalty specially since their match ended in a draw. He can’t really blame himself for that, Iceland basically parked the bus they gave him no space but thats probably not how he is looking at it. Luckily Marcelo calmed him down and said it wasn’t the smartest thing to try to talk to the older man right now. After the Croatia game he almost left the city to try to get to Leo but again someone stopped him this time it was Coutinho.

 

“Ney you seriously think your going to pull this off ? How far will you get before someone from the coaching staff sees you? You realize that we have a game tomorrow as well right ?”

 

Everything Coutinho was seeing made a whole lot of sense but he just wanted to go to Leo. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep if he didn’t talk to Leo or at least know how he was which seems more realistic considering Leo still doesn’t talk to him.

 

“Look if your really worried let me text Luis he probably knows something Leo only talks certain amount of people during these times you know that more than anybody Ney” Coutinho said pulling out his phone scrolling until he began to type something up.

 

Ney knew Coutinho didn't mean any harm by his comment but it had some how stricken a nerve in him. What did Phil mean Leo only talks to a certain amount of people and why was he making it seem like he isn't one of those special people who are allowed to talk to Leo. He knows he’s hurt Leo more than he had ever meant but he just he knows that if it came down to it he was still one of the few people Leo would talk to, he refused to think that Leo would give him the cold shoulder when all he wanted to do was talk to the man and make him feel better.

 

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean huh you think you some how have more of a right to speak to him than me ?” he was really trying to keep that to himself but he just couldn't. He hates how people treat him and his relationship with Leo like they were never more than just team mates, Like those special nights and mornings with him meant nothing. The hell with that they had meant everything to Neymar and he knows they meant something to Leo too they had to have meant something.

 

“Dude you for real need to calm down you know I didn’t mean it like that I know how your relationship with Leo was..” Phil wasn’t even able to finish before Neymar cut him off.

 

“No you don’t nobody knows Phil” Neymar was shaking his head tears he didn't know he was holding were beginning to stream down his face. “You don’t, what we had was something so beautiful nothing literally nothing can compare to the feeling I got when I was alone with him just seeing his face the, looks that were reserved just for me no one knows about any of that besides me and him.” He dropped down to his knees there was no point in holding back anymore he had pealed off his mask all those months of pretending he was okay were over he was so tired of hiding this of hiding all the regret he had for leaving the only person who meant something to him the only person who was greater than any trophy, any amount of money, greater than himself.

Neymar was full on sobbing by the time Phil was able to react. He dropped down to his knees in front of the broken man in front of him. Wrapping his arms around him Ney was quick to hug back burying his face in the younger mans neck. Phil didn’t really know what to do besides stroke the other mans back with one hand and stroke his hair with the other. Pretty soon though the other man let go of Phil looking at him with red stained eyes the glow in them completely gone.

 

“I’m sorry Phil this isn’t the time for all of this and I'm sorry for snapping at you” Ney whispered in between deep breaths.

 

“Ney theres isn’t a right or wrong time to give your heart a little break your mental health is just as important as your physical health you know…. And I want to apologize for causing this Ney I can see that you really do need to see Leo and if you think that’s what’s best then go ahead”

 

Ney smiled at that the fact that one of his closest friend was willing to let him risk everything in order to feel better made him feel loved for the first time in a while.

 

“Thanks Phil I appreciate it but I think after letting all of that out I feel better I wanna see him so bad but your right he won’t want to even look my direction and that’s just going to hurt more than not doing anything” He pulled the man closer to him and hugged him a little to tight.

 

“Well while you were yelling at me Luis answered me… He said that Leo is fine he’s just gonna need some time but that usually during this time Kun comes in handy apparently they’ve been though this many times before”

 

Ney isn’t gonna act like it didn’t sting a little to know that all Leo needed was Sergio but at this point as long as Leo is fine it doesn’t matter. If he couldn’t make him feel better he’s glad someone else could no matter how much that drove him mad.

 

“Now that we know he’s gonna be okay Ney I need to make sure your gonna be okay”

 

“I… I will I just it’s still hard you know … like it’s my fault but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Thanks Phil I appreciate this all of it you're a great friend I’m glad Leo has a team mate like you now”

 

With that both of them had long chats about Phil’s life and how he’s been adjusting to life in Barcelona and Ney wasn’t sad one bit he was glad his friend was playing at his dream club. They joked about Luis’s stunts during trainings and Geri’s jokes as well as Jordi’s playful bullying.The magic that they would have created for Barca both on and off the pitch would have been out of this world it’s a little late for that now though.


	6. Temptations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry for the late update but the internet it my house was down and I was just working on where I wanted this chapter to go.

Neymar had done quite well with holding back from going to Leo specially after his talk with Phil. But this time there was literally nothing that could hold him back from flying out to Leo not even the look Marcelo was giving him after he had expressed his desire to go see the other man. He knew it was crazy to want to go fly out to see him and that there was a lot of risk of doing so but he just had to he had to see how Leo was after the game versus France. No text message from anybody was going to make him feel any more at ease. 

 

So that’s how he found himself in the hallway of Argentina’s NT hotel, he was trying to be very careful as to not get seen by any staff member or player. But luck was never on his side. As he was turning a corner he was found with an ex-team mate.

 

“I’m not going to act like I'm surprised because I’m not but I didn’t think you’d be dumb enough to actually come out” Mascherano looked at him with a dumbfounded look but there was no signs that he was mad.

 

“I… I just Masche you know how I feel about him I just wanted to see him,” he answered back scratching the back of his neck.

 

“I know that Ney look I understand but this is just so irresponsible on your part but there’s no stopping you now” He looked back contemplating something before speaking up again.”Turn the corner and you’ll find his room his face is literally on the door kinda hard to miss”

 

A smile spread across Neymar's face, “Thank’s Mache you don’t know how much this means.” He moved forward to hug the older man.

 

Before Neymar moved along he heard Mache call out to him, “Hey don’t tell Sergio who told you were his room was I don’t need him bitching at me tomorrow, oh and good luck trying to get past him”.

 

Neymar wasn’t surprised that Sergio was with him he knew he probably would be but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t make him feel any better about it. Truth be told he has always been jealous of his relationship with Leo. He knows that they’ve been friends for the longest time and he appreciates that Leo has someone like Sergio to take care of him. But in reality he’s always wanted to be that for Leo to be his go to and he just isn’t he really never was and theres no chance in hell that he is now.

 

He knew it was going to be hard to convince Sergio to let him see Leo the man basically hated his guts after he had left Leo. He was never fond of Neymar thinking Leo was just waisting his time with a kid and after the heart break that Leo endured when Neymar left Barca he hated him even more.

 

He was standing in front of Leo’s door looking straight into the mans eyes through the picture on his door. He was nervous but he had come this far might as well go all the way. He slowly picked his knuckles up and knocked on the door. It took a couple of minutes before the door opened. A short man was staring straight at him but it wasn’t the short man he wanted.

 

The look Sergio was giving him was something mixed with hatred but at the same time it was mixed with a hint of sadness in his eyes.He look exhausted like he had just drank enough to keep him down for weeks. “What are you doing here kid go back from where you came from,” after a moment of awkwardness he finally spoke up.

 

“I… I didn’t come to see you so could you please just move over and let me see him,” Neymar had no idea where he got the balls to say that to the older man. But nothing was going to stop him from seeing Leo.

 

“Look Neymar I don't need to be arguing with you right now and i’m not going to but if you really think I’m going to let you see Leo than you must be stupider than I thought.”

 

Neymar was about to answer back to him when a small shadow appeared behind Sergio. Leo looked smaller than he was, he was wearing an oversized hoodie with one of Argentina’s training shorts . At first he didn’t come out standing only behind Sergio not once looking up to look at Neymar. Until he finally spoke up his voice was very soft if it weren’t for the awkward silence surrounding them he probably wouldn’t have heard what the small man had to say. “It’s ok Kun.”

 

That made Sergio snap from whatever trance he was on and turned around to hold Leo by the shoulders, “Leo you can’t be serious amor”

 

Neymar flinched a little at the nickname that Sergio used but this was no time to be getting jealous.

 

Leo shook his head a little and moved forward to hug Sergio. “It’s okay Kun I’ll be fine I promise if I need anything I’ll call.”Sergio turned back to look at Ney and gave him a disapproving look before turning back to Leo and kissing him on the head.

 

On his way out the door Sergio stopped next to Neymar, “I have no idea why he would be willing to see you but hurt him again and you answer to me I could give a flying fuck that you’re Paris’s new shinning crystal,” and with that he bumped into his shoulder and walked off.

 

Neymar wasn’t phased by Sergio’s warning if anything he was glad someone was looking after Leo this much even if the person he was trying to protect him from was Neymar himself.

 

He finally turned to the smaller man inside the room still refusing to look at him in the eye. Leo turned around and walked into the room Neymar followed the man back in. It was silent he couldn’t speak up to scared of rejection but then he thought more about it and realized that if Leo was going to reject him at all then he wouldn’t have let Sergio leave and he wouldn’t have allowed him into his room.

 

So without really thinking about it he speaks up, “ Leo I…I know you probably don’t want to see me or talk to me …and maybe I did wrong with coming here but.” He wasn’t able to finish his rant before the other mans quiet voice interrupted him. 

 

“Stop just stop..” his voice became incoherent as he began to sob. This caught Neymar off guard of all the things he thought the man was going to do or say he wasn’t expecting him to cry.

 

As if on reflex Neymar moved to the man and held him. Leo quickly wrapped his arms around Neymar’s neck stuffing his face in the crook of his neck as he released louder sobs. Ney began to move his hand up and down the mans back while the other one was stroking his head slowly in attempt to try to calm him down.

 

After a few minutes the sobs became quieter dying down slowly until all that could be heard were loud breaths. Neymar was expecting something different when Leo moved his head from his neck but he was met with two blood shut red watery eyes, it really shattered his heart to see Leo this broken all he wished to do was take his pain away. Without a warning Leo held the side of his face and brought him down for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for leaving y'all with a big cliffhanger but I promise the chapters to come will be much better. I appreciate you guys reading and I love feed back so don't be afraid to leave any !

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Neymessi fan fic actually my first ever fan fic so please bare with me. I hope you guys like it and I want to apologize for grammatical errors I'm not the best with that.


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